Choosing Who You Want to Be

In every moment of every day we are choosing who we are and who we want to be.  This is a very empowering statement, but it also can be a little bit scary.  Lately I have been pondering how much truth exists in this, and how much incredible power we have inside of us to create who we want to be.

I have been floating around this idea that we really do create who we are.  The magnitude of this concept actually has had me deep in thought at many moments over the past few weeks.  I just get to choose what kind of person I want to be?  So simple, yet….wow, I have that much power??   The Universe is so loving and so supportive; it decided that I needed a profound example to demonstrate this to me.  As many of you know, our greatest lessons come through challenges and struggles.  Yes, it threw a challenge at me, and it was a doozy.  

A couple of weeks ago I received some unexpected, and very unwelcome news.  It really came out of left field for me and I was totally caught off guard.  I was upset.  I was really upset.  I started to cry and felt all sorts of uncomfortable and negative emotions.  I felt hurt, helpless and angry all at the same time.  I went into total victim mode.  As I look back now, I know I would have gotten myself out of victim mode, taken appropriate action to deal with the situation, learned the lesson and moved on with a bit of time.  But what was different with this situation, was the incredible speed I did all those things.

I texted a very good friend of mine and briefly told her what had just happened.  She could tell by my text that I wasn’t in a good space, and thankfully she phoned me within 15 minutes of my text.  I didn’t even have the chance to explain the details of what happened.  She came right out and said to me, “This isn’t youYou don’t respond this way.  You are a soul having a human experience. It doesn’t matter what happened.”  I was speechless.  She was right.  Every cell in my body told me she was right.  This wasn't me at all.  Moreover, I could choose a different path.

Within 30 seconds of her call, my whole outlook, response and demeanor changed.  I mean RADICALLY changed.  I went from hurt, upset and crying to calm and peaceful.  If I hadn’t experienced it myself, I wouldn’t have thought I could change how I felt about something so incredibly fast.  In those very moments I knew I was being given an important lesson and a chance to grow.  I was curious.  We continued talking for a bit more.  What came out of the rest of the conversation was that I was being given an opportunity to decide who I wanted to be.  Circle back to what I have been pondering lately.  Do we really have that much choice in who we want to be?  I came up with a resounding “YES”!  

Did I want to be a person full of anger and toxic, negative emotions?  Did I want to be a victim?  Or did I want to be someone who handles challenges and struggles with grace and a touch of class.  Did I want to be someone who approaches the tougher parts of life with love in her heart and a healthy dose of self-respect and self-worth?  I decided I wanted to be the latter.  When I made that conscious decision, I felt so completely empowered.  I want to emphasize that this was a conscious decision.  It didn’t fall into my lap; I had to decide this is the person I wanted to be.

My friend and I also talked about my strategy in dealing with this situation.  I was already formulating a strategy before she called and the one we came up together was very similar to the one I was already creating.  The big difference was in the mindset I had.  I was now approaching it with some detachment and a level of peace and calm.  What was also becoming clear was that the outcome wasn’t so important anymore.  The irony is that when we can approach something with peace, calm and love in our hearts, the outcome is likely to be far more favourable for us and everyone involved.

I also felt such gratitude and love for my wise and caring friend who had been there for me.  Gratitude really is the magical elixir in life.

As I look back, I know I would have gotten to this place of peace eventually.  But it might have been a couple of days and likely I would have lost some sleep and some joy in my life.  Instead it took about an hour to honour my feelings, process what was going on and create a solution.  Why would I ever want to give that precious time away again?  Why would you ever want to give away any of your precious energy and time again?  

I’ve shared my story here in the hopes that maybe some of it will resonate with you.  It is easy to be who you want to be when times are easy and events and circumstances are flowing favourably in your life. Take all the opportunities you have to create the life experiences you want to experience as they are happening all the time.  It is the harder times that will require you to dig a bit deeper.  Look at the big picture and how you want to see yourself in life and be that person, right then and there.  In every moment of every day, we get to choose.  We are creating who we want to be.  That’s not just a loose statement, it could be radically life changing if you choose to embrace it.