Last week I wrote about navigating the waters of change. I am still continually crossing paths with people who are undergoing change and are feeling stress and anxiety about what lies ahead and how they can steer their lives to create more joy and fulfillment. In recognition of what I see happening around me, I decided to write a more in-depth article on an issue that rears its ugly head when we are undergoing change. We bump up against our limiting beliefs.
We all have them. We are very good at creating stories in our heads about who we are, and what may or may not happen for us in this lifetime. We have certain limiting beliefs that take front row seat in our lives, and there are some that sit up in the nose bleeds, but they are still there. We all share many of the same beliefs. Here are some common ones. Do any of these resonate with you?
I am unlovable.
I am unworthy of experiencing continued joy in my life.
I am not smart enough.
I am not attractive enough.
I am not funny enough.
I am not wealthy enough.
I am not ……… enough. This list is long and exhausting.
I will never "make it".
I will never get married.
I will never find someone who truly loves me.
I will never own my own home.
I will never be free of my family.
I will never be able to get pregnant.
I will never find a job where I feel fulfilled.
I will never fit in.
This list took me a very short period of time to compile as they are prevalent in so many people.
When you want something in your life really earnestly, there is an emotional charge you experience when thinking about that thing. There is a desire, and what often accompanies desire, is fear. That’s when the limiting beliefs crop up. Because you want that goal so badly, it seems to take longer than something you are more indifferent about.
It is harder to keep faith when you want the change with such intensity. Days or months can seem like forever.
I don’t know of one person who hasn’t at some point in their lives, wallowed in some of their limiting beliefs. It seems to be a rite of passage if you are on this earth long enough. Although this may be unavoidable, the time you spend wallowing is completely up to you.
I am not for a moment suggesting that it is easy to pull yourself out of a state where you feel completely helpless and full of doubt, what I am suggesting is that it is necessary if you want to create joy and fulfillment in your life.
Our doubts and lack of faith stem from fear. There are only two real “base” emotions in this world and they are love and fear. Every other emotion stems from one of these two. Love and fear are also opposites to each other; they cannot exist at the same time. This is empowering knowledge.
When you are face down in your “stuff” and you don’t know how to come out, ask yourself what it is you are afraid of. Ask yourself what is the belief that is causing you to feel the way that you do. It is helpful to write these down. These ideas should flow quite easily if you are being honest with yourself. You don’t have to tell anyone else what they are, but do be honest with yourself. The longer you hide from your own truth, the longer it will take to change to more empowering and loving thoughts and emotions.
As humans, we seem to have a tendency to beat ourselves up about our negative thoughts and actions. Be mindful not to do this. The idea is not to punish yourself, but to become aware of what beliefs might be holding you back.
Once you have made your list of your current beliefs that are causing you pain, write down the corresponding belief that you might adopt that would help you achieve your dreams and goals. For example, if your limiting belief is that you are not lovable, your list might look like this.
Limiting Belief – I am not lovable.
New Belief – I am completely worthy and deserving of the greatest love this Universe has to offer.
Once you have made your list of new beliefs, there is some work to be done in adopting them into your thoughts and emotions. Repeat them over and over, in your thoughts and even out loud. When you say them, open your heart and really feel those beliefs. This is where the love part comes in. Remember, love and fear cannot exist at the same time. If you focus on the love, the fear automatically disappears. Emotions are pure energy, and they carry a vibration out to the Universe of what you are attracting into your life. Put positive emotion behind those statements.
Doing this exercise is not a one-time event. If you have held a limiting belief for a long time, it will likely reappear from time to time. Each time, take a few moments and make the conscious decision to change your thoughts. This takes a commitment on your part. You are the creator of your life. You create the person that you are and your life experience.
Remember, we all have moments where we feel lost and disappointed with life. Days where we feel there are too many negative situations coming at us from all directions. Days where we want to hide in our homes and stay under the blankets. Days where we feel like life is too much of a struggle. How you choose to respond and move forward is completely up to you. You have the incredible power to change your circumstances, one step at a time.